Lazy Girl Kitchen Sink Chocolate Slice

I'll tell you a shameful secret. I'm not a nice person when I'm tired... or hungry. I'm not talking sour and grumpy I mean demonic. You know when you are at a wedding or family occasion and some child throws a titanic tantrum, screeching like a banshee and drumming their heels on the floor..? The mother hushes and shushes red-faced while onlookers knowingly comment that the child is 'over-tired'. Well I'm the child in this scenario and last Sunday when we went for a misguidedly long mountainous walk, my mushroom hating boyfriend was that embarrassed Mother. At one stage I sat down on a rock and refused to move. When he tried to justify the steep incline by commenting on the lovely view of the lake and valley I told him that he had to be sado-masochistic to be enjoying himself and that he was going to have to cart me around in a golf buggy for the rest of my life. He is so good natured he just laughed at me. That may have infuriated me more...

Anyway the next day on Easter Monday the girls were coming down and I wanted to make something but my legs were killing me. Therefore the 'lazy girl kitchen sink chocolate slice' was born. It is sort of Rocky Road with what you fancy thrown in for sport.


Adapted from 'Scrumptious' by Diverse Abilities Plus

1 can of condensed milk
300g plain chocolate
1 tbsp golden syrup
75g butter
125g mini marshmallows
150g maltesers
100g digestive biscuits
175g raisins

1. Bash up maltesers and biscuits in a bag with a rolling pin. You want nice big chunks so go easy!
2. Melt condensed milk, chocolate, butter and golden syrup together in a pan over a GENTLE heat. Keep stirring regularly- there is nothing worse than the smell of burnt chocolate (apart from the smell of burnt hair but that is a whole other blog post)! Allow to cool for at least 5 minutes or your marshmallows will melt.
3. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir gently until all is combined.
4. Pop in the fridge for about two hours.

Easter Cupcakes

Easter is a funny holiday. You have that blood and gore Christian imagery, being force-fed vinegar and general bad-time-crucifixion. Then juxtaposed beside it you have pictures of baby chicks, fluffy rabbits and springing lambs. Needless to say I've gone with the latter to decorate cupcakes. Not that the passion of the Christ in sugar paste wouldn't be just as delicious I just think the sculpting might be a bit beyond me... I'll leave that to Michaelangelo and the likes...

Blueberry Cinnamon Scones

Guess what I watched today? Columbo. It was amazing. I'm adding Columbo to my list of favourite TV characters after the undeterrable Jessica Fletcher, a heroine of mammoth intelligence from 'Murder She Wrote' fame. You just cannot beat a good murder mystery on a slow Saturday. I'm partial to an Agatha Christie novel or a good TV adaptation and I wouldn't say no to Inspector Morse either, grumpy but loveable. Before you dare to criticise my grand-dad-like TV choices I ask you whether you watch one of those Britain's Got the X-Factor Voice Idol programmes that seem to block up programming on a Saturday night like grease in a fat man's artery. How people can tolerate this tired formula constantly spat out in some mildly different way is beyond me. The sob stories, the emotive music, the choreographed bickering between judges and Simon Cowell grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I'm surprised he can hear the singing over the 'Ching!' of the cash register. Life is too short.

These scones are a nice variation on an old classic. The blueberries give a beautiful marbled effect and the cinnamon warms the scone. Leave out the blueberries and cinnamon and you've got the classic English scone. You could add sultanas (favourite of mine) or other dried fruits to the basic mix.

11oz plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
25g caster sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3oz butter, cold and diced
6 fl oz made up with 1 egg and the rest with milk
100g blueberries washed and dried
2 tsp cinnamon

1. Sieve the flour, baking powder and cinnamon. Add the salt. Rub in the butter with your fingertips until the mixture resembles butter or use the food processor.
2. Add the blueberries and mix lightly.
3. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients. Add the milk and egg and mix until thoroughly combined. You might need a bit more milk if there are dry crumbs that don't come together and lie at the bottom of the bowl. The dough should be moist but not sticky. You should be able to press it with your finger and your finger comes away clean.
4. Roll out the dough1 inch  inch thick on a floured surface with a floured rolling pin.
5. The cutter I used was 2.5 inches/6 cm. You could use a glass or cup if you are stuck. Press down firmly for nice clean edges on your scones. Naturally you will burst some blueberries, don't worry about that.
6. Place spaced apart on a greased baking sheet. Brush with a little milk. This will make the scones look glazed and shiny golden on the top.
7. Bake in 200oC oven for 10-15 minutes. They should be golden rather than pasty. Leave to cool and serve warm with real butter and jam.

Whoop over 1000 page views!

Haven't looked at my Stats in ages. I check today and see I have over 1,000 page views! Wow that is really cool! Although I have to work on getting these people to join as friends.... If only I could set up some computer programme that traps them on my page until they join... You know like some of those really annoying pop-up websites? Since I'm currently drowning in the confusion that is flickr/tumblr/pinterest, a complicated computer engineering mission is probably beyond me...

But Thank You to everyone who has, for one reason or another flicked onto the blog. It was something I set up after college to encourage me to be a bit more creative and I am getting so much more out of it than I thought I would.

Deirdre, xx

The 'New Me' and Peanut Butter Blossoms

So the post exam honeymoon period is over and I'm no longer content watching continuous hours of bad TV. This is my 'New Year' where I start making resolutions and setting goals. The fact that I do this every time I finish exams and am consistent only in failing to achieve any of the targets I set has not fazed me this time around. No because the 'new me' is going to follow through this time. I have already bought the yoga mat and downloaded 100 books to read before you die. Not only will I be trim and lean but I will be the renaissance (wo)man of literary appreciation and taste. I'm aiming for the body of Elle McPherson and the mind of Stephen Fry. Not an immodest goal. Hmmh... Will keep you posted.

I ordered Hershey's kisses from the US when the girls were on holidays for the sole purpose of making these adorable cookies. If you don't have the kisses you could always use a couple of chocolate chips or just make the cookies without the topping. The cookie is light and flaky with a heavy peanutty taste.

110g unsalted butter softened
60g caster sugar
75g light brown sugar (dark would be too bitter here)
170g smooth peanut butter
1 egg lightly beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp baking powder
200g plain flour sifted
1/4 tsp salt

1. Beat sugar and butter together until fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add the peanut butter and beat for 2 minutes until smooth.
2. Add a little beaten egg and a heaped tablespoon of flour and beat until incorporated. Continue until all the egg is used up. Beat in the vanilla extract.
3. Sift the flours together in a bowl. Add to the rest of the ingredients and beat gently and quickly.
4. Roll into large 1 inch balls. Pour a couple of tablespoons onto a plate and roll the the dough balls. Place on a greased sheet.
5. Bake in a 180oC oven for 8-10 minutes until golden.
6. Take out of the oven and immediately push a hershey's kiss on the top. Do it gently, you don't want to split the cookie.
7. Allow to cool.

Strawberry Cheesecake Cupcakes

Oh hello! Things have been a bit hectic recently. Exams are no fun. Minus fun. I'm glad to be back to living a normal life. And back to baking! So what's on the menu? Well I was in one of those moods on Friday evening after work. You know when you want to do something but you just don't know what and everything you start you don't feel like finishing? Its horrible that kind of restlessness. I think it was because I was used to compartmentalising the day, squeezing in some free time, 30 minutes for dinner, 40 minutes watching TV etc etc. Then on Friday I just literally did not know what to do with myself. All this free time was staring me in the face. There were a few projects I'd been looking forward to, icing cookies, piping flowers, baking beetroot chocolate cupcakes but they all just seemed like a little too much effort. So I settled on baking these babies- dessert meets cupcake. It was the cream cheese that sold it for me, its all about the cream cheese.

From 'Cupcakes from the Primrose Bakery'

Makes 15 regular cupcakes
225g caster sugar
210g self raising flour
1 tsp baking powder
25g cornflour
125g fresh ripe strawberries, crushed (I blitz-ed them in a food processor)
225g margarine, softened
4 large eggs at room temperature

1. Cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy and pale- about 5-6 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time with a heaped tablespoon of flour.
2. In a separate bowl blitz the strawberries, baking powder, any remaining flour and the cornflour.
3. Fold in the strawberry mixture until evenly combined.
4. Fill the cases two-thirds full and bake for 15 minutes at 180oC until a skewer comes out clean.

87g cream cheese
225g icing sugar
65g unsalted butter, diced
pink icing sugar

1. Cream together all the ingredients until smooth with an electric beater. This will take about 5 minutes and should be white as opposed to yellow.

Very Easy Rich Chocolate Pots with Shortbread Stars

I know drinking expresso is so very sexy, so cosmopolitan, so basking in the sun outside a cafe in Paris with a handsome French man like a scene out of La Vie en Rose, but I just can't approve of it. Not only do you look RIDICULOUS (men especially) squeezing your fingers into that tiny cup and then holding it like you'd imagine the Queen would a tea cup, but expresso tastes like tar marinaded in cigarette butts. Anyway when we got a set of super cute expresso cups for Christmas I didn't want to let them go to waste and thought they were the perfect size for mousse/creamy desserts. These chocolate pots are so rich that the expresso cup is the perfect portion size. Served with shortbread stars.

Its tempting to attack this in the bowl before it even gets to the cups. Use a spoon or you'll end up looking like this little guy but a lot less cute.

From Neven Maguire, Neven's Real Food For Families

Serves 6

450ml cream
75g golden caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 tbsp Bailey's cream liqueur
250g good quality dark chocolate, broken up into squares
small pinch of salt
1 large egg, beaten lightly

Pour the cream into a large saucepan and add the sugar and vanilla extract. Warm for 3-4 minutes stirring now and then. Do not boil.
Remove from the heat and stir in the chocolate until you can feel no lumps, it has all dissolved. Then stir in the Bailey's with the salt and egg until well combined.
Pour into the expresso cups, cover loosely with foil/cling film and leave somewhere cold (but not in the fridge) for at least 4 hours or until set. Alternatively chill overnight but take out of the fridge an hour before serving.